We still have not gotten the answers back from the childrens' case worker or current foster mother. These answers will hopefully help us have a better indication of what is going on with the kids right now. It is really hard to wait, but I am also a little scared to get the answers. The last time our adoption worker had a staff meeting with the case worker and the foster mother, it seemed that everything was going really well with the kids... Then once we read over the files we were overwhelmed by how much information they had not shared with us. I know that the goal is to find a forever family for these kids, but I am praying that we get the most honest and relevant information so that we are sure we can handle them.
My fears go in two directions. First, what if the answers are negative and it really spells our clearly that we are not supposed to bring these little ones home...Either one of them... Or just one of them.
Second, what if the answers are positive and not entirely truthful. I am hoping they will answer them honestly and hold nothing back so that we can really know if we will be a good match and be able to provide for what these little ones need.
The biggest question is how will we know? We won't know until we actually have the children in our care...and by that time, if we have made a huge mistake then it will be far too late for everyone.
I've said it before and I am sure that I will say it again and again and again... Adoption is NOT for the faint of heart. There are certainly people who have the dream adoption process... They find the perfect little baby who grows into the perfect little child and becomes a model adult... This is probably more likely to happen when someone adopts an infant straight from the mother's womb.... Once you start looking at adopting children in foster care, the picture is not as clean and pretty... That doesn't mean that it isn't worth it. That doesn't mean that it shouldn't be done... that doesn't mean that we don't want to do this anymore... Just that it is MUCH harder and the older the children are, the harder it all becomes.
It makes little sense to me that a royal wedding can cost millions of dollars, that pro athletes ear millions of dollars, and that movie stars rake in huge amounts of money....when all of those dollars could go to help research cures for childhood illness and making homes safer and better for little ones... Just doesn't make any sense to me. I keep remembering the Bible says that those who have here on earth will have nothing later...and those who have nothing will be given much.. .I know it isn't an easy wait, but I pray for all of those people- children, adults, animals... who have nothing... and pray that someday much will be given.
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