Three Months

Our adoption worker came over yesterday for our 3 month meeting.  Our kids were sitting at the kitchen table doing their homework, our animals were off sleeping somewhere, and Kara and I sat in the living room with our worker as she asked questions and took notes on her laptop computer. 

Our kitchen connects to our living room and from where I was sitting I could watch my kids at the table.  They were on task for the most part but I could see them looking over or listening in to our conversation.  Our worker commented about how impressed she was with our kids and how much change she sees in them.  They were sitting there so independently but knew how to check in with us when they needed support.  It reminds me of some of the adoption classes we took where we learned about Trust... How kids will slowly grow more independent when they can trust that you will still be there to help when they need to come back. 

It was a proud moment to sit there and for her to mention how impressed she was.. and to say that it really speaks of our parenting skills... But I have to say that I don't feel we deserve the credit for this in the least.  God really just put our lives together to make part of His masterpiece.  I was just talking to Kara about how STRONG and POWERFUL modeling behavior truly is.  As I was reflecting on the behaviors and attitudes of our kids when we first met them and brought them home- so much has changed. 

I remember our daughter was sassy and would talk back.  I would ask her to do something and she would say no and just go about doing things her way.  She would just do her own thing.  Now, when asked to do something she says, Yes Momma... Or if I ask her to change a specific thing- such as, Honey, we need to work on not talking to your brother that way- "Yes, Momma".  She is now SO kind and sweet and loving.  She asks about our day and our workout. She asks how she can help and if we need anything.  However, she still asks if she needs something and explains if she wants to do something a different way.  The art of communication and her understanding of the relationships within a family has just really grown more than we can express!  THREE MONTHS!  All this in three months! This is the daughter that the paperwork said was mean, tried to hurt her brother in numerous ways, untrustworthy, having hallucinations...  While I know enough to know that we DON"T KNOW what will happen tomorrow, three months from now, or next year.. I DO KNOW that she is not the little girl that they painted her to be. She is OUR baby girl and we are so pleased and blessed to have her.  The paperwork did a great job of scaring off other people who maybe would have adopted the kids had it not been in their files... So, thank God for the bad stuff in those files because it made it possible for us to adopt them :)

If it sounds like our daughter has changed a lot, that's just the tip of the iceberg of how much our son has changed!!  In 3 months he went from being unable to have a conversation about the most basic topic- he couldn't answer or ask a question.  He couldn't talk about his feelings.  He couldn't follow a conversation....To being a little boy who LOVES to talk (sign!).  He wants to know everything everyone says.  He understands the role of an interpreter and asks me to interpret what other people are saying.  He tells us just how he is feeling.  He can be accountable for his actions and explain (still not in as much depth as a child who has a full intact language, but it's only been 3 months!) why he did whatever it was.  He can tell stories and he asks a million questions.  He is not the shell of a boy that we met 3 months ago.  He is a little tree growing.  His trunk has always been there.  He is growing his roots and his branches and those little buds.... He is remarkable and resilient. 

Who am I that God is mindful of me?  Who are my kids?  Who is Kara?  But yet while we waited and prayed and longed... He kept doing His miraculous work. 

Now here we are 3 months later... Praying that this is only a drop in the bucket of what we have to look forward to as a family for a lifetime.