So, for some odd reason when I opened this post I started singing Christmas songs in my head... I have NO idea.. .Particularly "Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh...." Yeah, I don't know :) don't ask!
Ok, so in way of updates!
Today is our daughter's first day at her new school. I am so curious to see how she liked it, what homework she comes home with, and if she talks about a new BFF. I can't wait to learn more about her school and see how this is going to impact her and our family. Tomorrow she has her first appointment at the new pediatric center. I hope we will be able to discuss some medications and see if the doctor agrees with the therapist that this is a good option to try. I find myself torn because I hate to "medicate" my child, but I also see how much she struggles off and on and feel like it isn't fair to let her to continue to struggle without trying every possible thing that I can as her mom. Isn't that what I promised to do for her?
I have to admit that sometimes I really struggle with helping our kids understand "our" family rules as opposed to what other kids are allowed to do/not do. For example, many of our daughter's friends in the neighborhood are 9 and allowed to ride their bikes anywhere they want and often getting home after dark. I won't even let my daughter ride her bike on the road or cross streets or ride at ALL when I am not standing right there. The same can be said that many parents of younger kids will let their kids just run and play and not feel the need to pay particular attention to them or feel the need to watch more closely... I was feeling a little guilty for being over-protective or strict until I saw an email this morning from a friend who is a teacher. She said a student of hers was playing over the weekend in her bedroom (she is 9) and was playing on her bunk beds... Her mom was in the house but didn't know what her daughter was doing. The little girl had a jump rope and somehow it got tangled around her neck and she slipped off the bunk bed and it strangled her leaving her in a coma. When I read that it made me realize that I would rather apologize to my kids when they are 18 and say that I am sorry if they felt I was too strict or over protective than to live a day without them because I wasn't. While I am not saying ANYTHING at all against this mom... In fact, I am sure she is a GREAT mom, I just use this story because it really shows the fears that I have in leaving our kids unattended.
I think this is particularly true for kids like ours- who have been in numerous homes and lived by lots of different standards. While I believe in giving them their freedom, I also feel like I need to shelter them until they are emotionally ready to handle situations that come up. They aren't ready to do that yet. I am also a little old school I guess- in these sense that I like my children to call people Ms. or Mr and that I like them to be polite. I like them to ask permission and to be humble and gentle. There are times and places where these don't apply.. Like at home when they are break dancing and riding their bikes and being crazy!!! But other times when they do.. like the pumpkin patch yesterday when our daughter wasn't paying attention and ran into a gentleman carrying full glasses!!! Many parents would not have addressed this... writing it off as a kid thing to not really pay attention and since nothing fell or broke that it was enough to just shout a sorry in passing. Instead, I sat down with her and explained how that could be a worse situation.. like if the glasses broke, if you knocked down a child or an older person.. or if you are riding your bike and not paying attention and slipped into traffic. While some would look at me and think that is was overkill or silly to have a consequence for something like that, I am confident that when my daughter grows up that she will appreciate these life lessons. So you might be wondering why this even made it to this post... Why is this so important? Why is it a big deal? WELLL, thanks for asking.. the problem is with how other parents interact with my kids. I don't know if it is a general thing- like parents do this with all kids, or because they feel kinda sorry for my kids.... ya know, since they have been through a lot (trust me, we get that a lot!). For example, while I had my kids sitting yesterday (daughter for not paying attention and walking into someone after lots of reminders to watch where she is walking- and my son for taking a little toy from a kiddo and going off with it into an area where he knows he was not given permission to go)... one of the other kids' parents gave them each popcorn. Popcorn is a treat for our kids and so this really undermined the lesson I was trying to teach them. While I am 100% convinced she didn't mean anything by it, it really is hard for my kids to "get" it when other people don't hold them to standards like we do... This happens all the time. They are throwing a fit and we are letting them work through it and a friend will go and tickle them and tease them and hold them and play with them... This only makes the next issue bigger.
Don't get me wrong... my kids are AMAZING and we are SOOO SOOOO SOOOOOO blessed that they are REALLY WELL BEHAVED children and I thank our Lord everyday for them...but they are like most kids and have their trying times and need to be treated like most kids and learn from their mistakes. But I feel sometimes that people don't have high expectations for their kids anymore and so then don't have them for mine either.. OR that they just feel bad for our kids and feel the need to baby them...
It's hard when these people are your friends... They don't hold their kids accountable but you do yours- and then your kids don't understand why the other kids are allowed to do something they aren't.
I think that is why I love this new school... Their philosophy is:
3 Rules:
Be Safe
Be Respectful
Be Responsible
2 Questions:
Who is in charge?
What am I in charge of?
2 C's:
Choices
Consequences
Keys to Success:
Know your purpose
Grow your potential
Help Others.
This is what I think we as adults should be thinking and then be teaching our kids... :) So maybe I am not craazy, overprotective and strict after all... OR maybe I am, but found a community of educators and fellow parents who believe in the same ideals!
Hold strong parents of these kiddos.. .it is an amazing journey, not without its confusion!
Blessings!
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