Well we got to see our kiddos again on the Video Phone over the weekend- twice! They are SO cute. We just keep falling in love with them more and more. They have such sweet smiles and sparkly eyes! They have such unique personalities and a very strong bond with one another! What really became more clear to us was the way the have learned to cope and take care of one another.
The first day their energy was very light and we just giggled and laughed and had fun. The second day T was still happy but a little more hyper. He would sometimes try and say things and we couldn't understand what he said. He doesn't have a full language- English or ASL- and so it can be hard to understand him sometimes. When we couldn't understand what he said, S would "interpret" for him and tell us what he said. This was an eye opener for us and makes sense why she feels so frustrated with him sometimes... Much like a CODA (child of deaf adults) becomes weary of being responsible for his/her parents, she might be feeling like she always has to help him, clarify for him... to be his little caregiver...
THEN...
When S was crying because she wanted to get her ears pierced and was trying to convince us to let her get them pierced NOW, T started acting like a clown to try and cheer her up. He signed to us, "S is sad- she is crying"... We teased and said maybe give her a hug to cheer her up and both kids said NO! but he started acting silly and tried to tickle her and lift her spirits... You could see that is how he copes with her being sad- by becoming silly. He then left the room and told their foster mom about her crying (which she said she does as a means of manipulation- and what kid doesn't try this tactic!).
It was just so clear to us that they have been the only source of support and stability for one another. Sure they fight and bicker and wrestle, but really underneath all of it is love. They like to hit each other and wrestle and tattle...and as we sat there and watched them we both thought back to how we interacted with our brothers- so very similar!
So, our goal is going to be to help them realize that they no longer have to carry the burden for the other one.... If S is unhappy we will deal with it as a family and it will not be on T's shoulders anymore... If T cannot make himself clear using words or signs, we will have paper and flashcards ready for him to draw it out or we will teach him to rephrase what he is trying to say... S will not have to be around to help or interpret from him anymore...They will both be released from the burdens that are causing issues between them and making it hard for them to have a fun and silly childhood.
Everyday brings us closer and closer to seeing them face to face and hugging them and kissing them and never letting them go! We told them we were gonna hug and kiss them and they both giggled as if to say, "mommmmms!" lol. So cute! We can't wait. We keep thinking of different fun things to do in TX and once we get back home.
T wants to go camping for his birthday :) And S might want to camp or have a tea party!
We are beyond thankful to God above for all of His provisions and his unending love! We are richly blessed!
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